LinkedIn and dating; much the same really!

The business world has changed so much in the last twenty years that it is nigh on impossible imaging returning to sitting in a library flicking through reference manuals or scrolling through microfiche to unearth the information that you were after. If you’re under 30 you’ll probably have to Google microfiche – now how old do I feel!

So, where would we be without LinkedIn, the new business white pages that seems to dominate these days? I bet you couldn't imagine going back to the days before you could find people you'd lost track of or attempt to connect with pretty much anyone in the working world, whether they like it or not. And therein, lies the rub.

In many ways, LinkedIn is a lot like a dating site, except for business.

If you’re old enough you’ll remember the J. Geils Band who had a song called "Love Stinks" that goes like this, "You love her; but she loves him. And he loves somebody else; you just can't win." Trying to connect with people on LinkedIn can be just like that. Moreover, how we network and form relationships in the working world is very similar to how we do it in our personal lives.

It is an almost unquestionable fact that these days if you want to have a career, you've got to have a LinkedIn profile. On top of that it's also a great way to manage your business contacts. But LinkedIn also makes it easy to try to connect with people you don't know to further your career or your business opportunities. However, don’t be surprised that it’s not just beautiful blondes who hit on your LinkedIn profile but the occasional moose too.

OK, not the world’s best analogy, but you've got to admit, it true. I’d be surprised if you haven’t had an opportunist or two contact you on a number of occasions. They put you on the spot and then you've got to reject them. It's annoying. Unless, of course, they've got something you want, in which case you’ve just made a connection. Not for life. Just until you get what you want, get bored and dump them. Just like dating.

As for posting to all those groups and commenting on discussions, that's just like when you were single, wasting your nights bouncing from one bar to another hoping to meet that someone special. Just try to imagine all those desperate, inane, rambling nightclub conversations that ultimately led to absolutely nothing. That's right. LinkedIn is just like that.

Twitter's different. Twitter's a media outlet, an overloaded news source for people with ADD - because very few people really ever have the time to read even a tiny fraction of what is tweeted. Anyway, you're not going to form any real relationships on Twitter. Either personal or business.

I’m over thirty (and quite a bit) so yes this all makes me sound cynical and jaded, but really that's because there's nothing new here, at least not if you’ve been around the block a few times. Working at a company or doing business is all about relationships. Business relationships, personal relationships, they all work pretty much the same way. And online social networks are just a new way to find each other.

Is there anything that can be learned from this? Business life is a lot like personal life. Companies are a lot like homes. Bosses are like parents. Business partners are like spouses. Colleagues are like friends. And employees are like kids. Yes that sounds strange, but if you think about it, it might actually make sense.

As for online social networks, they're just a new way to do the same old stuff. They're another way to find and connect with each other. The same rules apply.

As ever we’re keen to hear from you, let us know your thoughts on networking, social networks and if you must – your dating experiences!!

You can contact us at: blog@chestertongray.com or tweet us at @chestertongray

Management advice that works; or does it?

If you have ever stood at a newsagents at the airport or railway station, one of the things that you really can’t have failed to notice is the plethora of books offering copious amounts of management advice. Now I always question management advice books because I wonder "Does this really work, or did the author just dream up a theory just so they could write a book?" The only useful advice is, of course, advice that helps people become better managers.

With a few spare moments between assignments I did some delving through the search engines to see what the most common advice is, and this is these reflect the most common/repeated thoughts:

• For those times when you tell someone to do something just because you're the manager: Every time you hit someone with the 'management' stick, it breaks in half.

• Getting bad news early is good news. I've found it applies to nearly all walks of life.

• Never tell or ask someone to do something you're not willing to do yourself. Always remember how it felt to be the one managed, and take that into consideration when managing others.

• My boss tells us all the time that the reason we are successful as a clinic is that she has made a point over the years to hire people smarter than she is.

• Remember the people reporting to you have their goals, dreams and vision for their future. To the best of your ability -- and their willingness to share -- learn what these are. When it comes to coaching, mentoring and managing your direct-report staff, you can incorporate this understanding into your message. Even if the mission doesn't directly correlate with or even contradicts their own vision, they will hear that you considered their point of view.

• Never value bureaucracy and process over people. This is what gives HR a bad name (and often unnecessarily). When you have a problem with an individual person, deal with that person or problem and don't push out some wimpy policy to try to 'stem the tide' of people who wear orange Crocs to work (or whatever other lame HR policy you can imagine). If you put people first and deal with them clearly and honestly, you'll find that most of your policies are unnecessary.

• Start every work conversation by asking a variation on the following: 'What can I help you with/how can I help you?' That may sound corny, but it is amazing when you see the stress on someone's face melt away because they 'get' that you 'get' that you're in it together. It's also a positive way to identify roadblocks; find areas where additional training or professional development would be helpful; and get a quick handle on staff workloads and priorities, helping readjust if needed. I've found that starting with, 'What do you need from me?' or 'How can I help you?' also gives you valuable insight into how a person is doing mentally, physically, professionally and personally.

• The best management advice I ever got was from a school counsellor who was talking about breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, and only later did I come to apply it to managing work relationships: Understand that your primary goal when making management decisions is not to earn the concurrence of the employees you manage. You will never get employees to agree that they need to be reassigned, demoted, reprimanded, laid off or fired. Because those are some of the hardest actions to take as a manager, it is smart to keep in mind that you can lay out your case to the employee for why it is the best course of action for everyone (the employer). Employee buy-in is always a secondary goal.

• Don't treat your employees like idiots. It demeans them and you. It is especially true when you have unsettling news to share, [like] a company shakeup and changes in management -- really changes to anything. If you try to put a nice, 'everything is still wonderful,' Pollyanna gloss on the news you are trying to break, your employees will quickly lose confidence in you and your ability to determine when a situation needs more care and gravity.

• I was once told that all people really want is respect and to know that what they are doing is important. His statement has stayed with me ever since, and I use this philosophy all the time.

I don’t believe that any of these offer any ground breaking thoughts or advice but merely re-enforce what most of us have heard over the length of our careers. Maybe you can offer us something a little bit different? If so, what's your best piece of management advice?
As ever we’re keen to hear from you, let us know your thoughts at blog@chestertongray.com or tweet us at @chestertongray

10 things that you shouldn’t say in an office

Office jargon has been around since the first office was created and is frankly pretty annoying; it's an assault on the ears even to hear it. If you’re a cricket fan then the chances are you have played Boycott Bingo or if you too are one of those frustrated employees then the chances are that you’ve been to a meeting and played "Buzzword Bingo" using cards with expressions like "outside the box" or "on the same page."

Fortunately, such jargon goes out of style pretty quickly. I haven't heard "going forward" for a while but equally on the flip side, old expressions are almost immediately replaced by new, even more irritating ones.

Over a cup of coffee one morning we “brainstormed” the jargon we hear on a daily basis and here are a few of the results, with the odd example.

Leverage. Deployment of an insufficient amount of something to do that which was previously done with much more. Example: "After the layoffs, we can leverage our staff of three to cover the entire country".

Reach out. This one really is my pet hate for so many reasons. To deliver news. To talk or connect with someone. Example: "I wanted to reach out to you about my next job". No you don’t, you want to talk to me!!

It is what it is. Meaning: Get used to it.

Viral. So prevalent that it has almost became the word of 2013. Example: "Twitter has gone viral".

Game changer. A catalyst that will transform a frog into a prince or vice-versa. Example: "Getting indicted for fraud was a game changer for Joe Bloggs".

Disconnect. A situation in which you wanted jam, but someone gave you peanut butter. Example: "There is a disconnect between what the consumer wants and what we intend to provide".

Value-add. A gain, usually financial. Example:

Circle back. See you again and again and again whether or not you want to be seen. Example: "The stalker abided by the court's restraining order but then circled back to hang out by the house".

Socialise. Ram the idea down their throats. Example: "We need to socialise to our patients our practice of closing the doctor's office every day for two hours at lunch." In other words, “Call an ambulance”!

Cutting edge. Oh dear, my second pet hate. So modern, it's to die for. Example: "Their offering is so cutting edge that they will take the country by storm".

Now that these expressions have been officially identified as irritating jargon, you might want to give them up, or add to the list! Unless your boss is planning to circle back to reach out to interface and socialise to your value-add. What can I tell you? It is what it is.

As ever we’re keen to hear from you, let us know your thoughts at blog@chestertongray.com or tweet us at @chestertongray

Five personalities that might wreck your meeting!

When I secured my first “proper” job I don’t think that I was really aware of what the ‘management’ actually got up to or that they were never available for me to talk to because they were in meetings; in fact they always had a looming presence!

These days the world has moved on and it doesn’t really seem to matter who you work for, whether you’re a small family firm or whether you work in a large corporation, the chances are that you spend a lot of time in meetings.

And if you do spend a lot of time in meetings, you soon see human nature displayed in its full glory as your colleagues and customers jockey for attention, claim credit for anything they can and prey, Darwinian-style, on weaker members of the tribe.

So, next time that you are called to a meeting, here are five kinds of people that can make things go awry fast -- and a few thoughts on how to deal with them:

1. The bully. Speaks loudly and speaks for softer-spoken team members, apparently deciding that they are unable to make their points for themselves. Actually says things like "that's a stupid idea" to someone whose ideas aren't stupid. Feel free to treat this person like the primary schoolchild whose behaviour they’re channelling. If you let them get away with their infractions, they’re only going to get worse.

2. The non sequitur. This person needs to be heard and either doesn't understand or doesn't care that the ground rules of a discussion require at least some relation between discussion points. As a counterpoint you could interrupt swiftly with "That's an interesting point. Let's note that and move back to our current agenda." If you don't have a timed meeting agenda, then you're inviting this behaviour.

3. The would-be visionary. This person is a frustrated philosopher who has a nasty habit of sending the discussion down a rabbit hole by proposing ideas that sound important the first time you hear them, but rapidly leave you cringing by the time they’ve brought them up in a third or fourth meeting. Respond with humour if you can but it’s key to bring the discussion back to your line.

4. The constant questioner. This person assumes that asking questions about everything the speaker says makes them sound smart and attentive, not realising (or caring) how distracting it is for the others in the meeting. Unless the person is your boss, this person usually turns out not to have any real questions once he or she realises it won't be possible to turn the meeting into a Socratic dialogue.

5. The rambler. Now we all know of these! Occasionally makes good points, but buries each nugget in 10 minutes of fluff. Unless you want your 20-minute meeting to last an hour, get adept at asking a question that cuts to the chase.

Those are my thoughts, how do you keep bad meeting personalities in check?

As ever we’re keen to hear from you, let us know your thoughts at blog@chestertongray.com or tweet us at @chestertongray