Are you sabotaging your own career?

When things don't go your way, it's so much easier to blame it on someone else than take personal responsibility for what happened. And if anyone can sit there and tell me they've never done that, then they’re not telling the truth. Of course you have. I have. Everybody has.




Let’s be honest, for most of us it feels great to go home and let off steam about a lunatic boss who makes our lives a living hell or a colleague who got the promotion that we thought was ours.



The real problem with that strategy is that, in all probability, you're full misguided hot air and that in actuality you know it. Not only is that attitude unhealthy for you, it's unhealthy for your career, too.



That's because the mechanism in play - self-limiting or self-destructive behaviour - also happens to be a self-perpetuating infinite loop. Here's how it works:

• Things don't go your way, so you get angry and blame others.

• But, deep down, on some level, you know it's your own fault.

• So you feel guilty and ashamed and beat yourself up.

• That lowers your self-confidence and increases your self-doubt.

• Your work performance suffers as a result.

Round and round it goes, and there you have it: self-perpetuating career self-sabotage.



How can you stop it? The first step to solving any problem is recognising that there is one. The second step is actually harder and that's because changing behaviour you've spent a lifetime developing takes an awful lot of work.



Most people aren't consciously aware of their own self-limiting or self-destructive behaviour, so we’ve listed a few of the key issues:

1. Believing that someone else is the problem. The odds that there's some conspiracy to hold you back, that everyone's out to get you, that opportunity's there for all but you, or that all your bosses and colleagues are backstabbing villains, are zero. The problem is you. And thinking it isn't, is what is actually holding you back.

2. Putting yourself ahead of your company. It's counterintuitive, but the best way to get ahead is to put the needs of your company first, for the simple reason that doing your job well and going above and beyond the call of duty will come back to you eventually. Nobody's going to go out on a limb and shower you with promotions until you prove yourself capable, which means getting results ... for the company.

3. Thinking you know better instead of listening and learning. Those who act as if they know it all and have overinflated opinions of themselves are usually overcompensating for deep feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Everyone knows it but them.

4. Feeling entitled to something, anything. People throw the "entitlement" word around a lot these days, but there's a simple truth in business: You're not really entitled to anything. You earn entitlement by working hard and making something of yourself; that's about it. The truth is that whatever you feel entitled to you'll never get.

5. Drinking the magic potion, i.e. that there's some magic secret to getting ahead. Becoming successful in the real world requires every bit of whatever brains God gave you, the wisdom you learned along the way, and pretty much all your energy and focus. By definition, every brain cycle and moment you spend thinking there's a better way - a magic way - works against you by detracting from what it really takes to succeed: brains, hard work, and learning from experience.

As ever, your comments are welcome, you might have other thoughts on how people manage to undo all their previous hard work. www.chestertongray.com