Networking Advice for People Who Hate Networking

I’ve been to a pretty diverse selection of networking events, from breakfast meetings to one held (only) in the corridors between offices and I know from a number of these that a lot of people dread networking events. Too often, they end up standing in a corner, chatting aimlessly with people they already know.

It seems to me that I receive an email invitation to yet another one almost every day. So are they a waste of your time? Yes if you don’t utilise them properly. No, if you’re strategic in your approach, you can actually gain new contacts, and even clients, from networking.

I don’t believe that there are many groundbreaking tips that that haven’t been mentioned by one expert or another, but here are five tips that I’ve collated for people who hate networking:

1. Make people come to you. There’s automatically a power imbalance when you approach someone and say, “I really wanted to meet you.” So why not turn the tables? Take a leadership role in your business or your organisation (Chamber of Commerce, trade association, women’s business network). That way, you wield the power because you dole out invitations to speakers - and everyone always wants to meet the person in charge.

2. Set a numerical goal. Rather than chat to the same old people as you did at the last networking meeting, vow that you’ll talk to at least three people you don’t know. That concrete goal will remind you of the point of attending – to meet some new contacts – and it will help push you out of your comfort zone, so you don’t spend most of the night chatting with old friends.

3. Get their card. I know that some people measure their networking success by the number of business cards they give out. But the fact is no one is going to keep your card safely tucked away until the need arises. You’re lucky if it actually makes it past the bin that evening. You simply can’t rely on other people to remember you, or even email you their contact info, regardless of whether they promise to do so. You need to collect their card - because only you can be counted on to retain their contact information.

4. Follow up. This is where many or even most people blow it. Despite a great initial conversation, they never take any steps to keep in touch, and so a year later the person no longer remembers them. Make it a point during your conversation to identify something that you both have in common that will allow you to keep a relationship alive, even as a casual one. Maybe it’s a shared music or sport passion, or perhaps a business challenge and you promise to send them an article that you read about how to solve it. However you do it, make sure to stay in touch.

5. Be realistic. There are really very few people who leave a networking event with a new contract in hand. Initially that shouldn’t be your goal, because a relationship developed that quickly is quite often shallow and easy to break. Your aim should be to meet interesting people whom you can get to know and then - eventually - turn into good, long-term clients.

And that starts with making the effort to introduce yourself - and of course stay in touch.